Early in 2013, shortly after their American wedding, Pat, Kevin’s brother, and his wife Young informed us they would also be heading to Seoul, Korea for a traditional Korean wedding ceremony with her family in May of 2014. While I think Young might have seen this as a familial obligation, the rest of us were ecstatic at the prospect of traveling to Asia to be a part of the festivities and meeting her family. Before the trip, we did some research on Korean weddings to know what to expect and carefully selected gifts for all the members of Young’s immediate family. We had Young phonetically write out the words for hello and thank you. Maureen also sent her measurements as she would be wearing a hanbok, or traditional formal dress made of silk. Funny story – when Maureen sent her measurements over to Korea, Young’s mother thought she had wrote them down wrong, assuming that an American woman couldn’t possibly be that tiny.
Pat and Young headed to Seoul a few days before us, and on May 20 we left Chicago. With a layover in San Francisco, the entire trip took around 15 hours and we arrived in the late afternoon. Maureen and Ken had taken sleeping pills, and we got decent sleep on the plane, so we settled into our hotel, the Ramada Seoul in Gangnam, and hit up the hotel bar. Young and Pat had been with her parents during the day but they met up with us for an early dinner at a restaurant around the corner from our hotel. As we were being hosted by Young and her family, they chose all the restaurants and I unfortunately don’t have the names of anything, although all of the food we ate there was fantastic. For our first meal, Young picked a variety of vegetables, soups and banchan. Maureen and Ken were vegetarians at the time, but it’s easy to not eat meat in Korea, with all of the incredible noodles and kimchi that always seems to appear out of nowhere at your table. After dinner, Maureen went back to catch up on some sleep and the rest of us got a drink or two at a bar nearby. I distinctly remember how amusing it was when Young ordered us all beers – it took several minutes of talking to the server to complete the order, and it seemed as though she wasn’t just ordering beer but dictating a long speech. I asked her everything that was said but she was shy and claimed she just ordered the drinks. In hindsight, she was probably explaining to the server why she was with these four American tourists.
The next morning, after a surprisingly western-style breakfast in the hotel restaurant, we met up with Pat and Young for a tour of Gyeongbokgung Palace. The palace is the oldest in Korea and dates back to 1395. The grounds, including the palace and surrounding gardens, are vast and sprawling and you could easily spend hours getting lost. Young had arranged a tour guide for us and we were able to see the highlights of the intricate and colorful architecture while learning the history of the various dynasties that inhabited the palace. After seeing the palace we were escorted through the luscious gardens, home to picturesque ponds and pavilions. We also saw a pretty incredible 300 year old tree. The entire estate is a UNESCO World Heritage site and definitely recommended on a trip to Seoul.
After our tour, Young found a restaurant for lunch nearby. The weather was steamy, so we both got the cold noodle soup or mul naengmyeon, which ended up being one the best things I ate on the trip and extremely refreshing on the hot day. The buckwheat noodles are plunged into an extra-chilled broth (we’re talking ice cubes) and topped with refreshing cucumber and radishes.
One of the most special events planned for the trip was dinner that evening at Philkyungjae, located in Gangnam and not far from our hotel. We were meeting Young’s family, so we all got dressed up and brought the gifts we had purchased. I can’t imagine a better and more unique dining experience. The building itself was constructed in the 1400s and was once home to Korean nobility. We enjoyed a lovely photo session with the family in the gardens outside before heading into our private dining room, shoes left outside the door. What commenced then couldn’t be described as anything less than a feast, with plate upon plate of delicious and often mysterious food being brought to the table every few minutes. We enjoyed a variety of kimchi we had never tried before, as well as fermented shrimp, which Kevin and I both loved. We exchanged gifts and received a beautiful piece of art that depicted Korean couples in their traditional wedding clothing.
After our nightcap back at the hotel bar, Maureen and Ken turned in for the night. Kevin and I, however, wanted to explore. We asked the concierge for a suggestion of a neighborhood with lots of bars and quickly got in a taxi heading for his selection. The street was indeed hopping and we did a jaunt to a few locations, all of which reminded me, to be honest, of American dive bars (in a good way). At our last stop, we started talking to a few locals and we mentioned that we were hungry. He told us we had to try the chicken butt at another dive around the corner. At the time we thought this was hilarious and super exotic. When I woke up the next morning, I realized that I’m certain I eat the butt of a chicken all the time here at home. That being said, it was delicious and ideal late night food.
Much like a western-style wedding, the women spent the next day getting pampered. Young’s mother picked us up at our hotel and took us to a large mall where we got our nails done and had lunch. I chose a spicy kimchi stew with pork that I could probably eat every day and be completely happy. After lunch, we made our way to a salon to get a lovely and relaxing facial and massage. As we were in the changing room after, Maureen came in and said “Oh my god, did you hear that person snoring the whole time?” Not having heard anyone snoring, I had to assume that it was me she was referring to and that the jetlag had officially caught up to me. Super embarrassed, we laughed about it and I ran out of there as quickly as I could. Meanwhile, Kevin, Pat, Ken and Young’s father all went out to do some sightseeing and grab some lunch. They visited the outside of another temple where the guards were participating in a flag presentation. They got some great photos and ate bulgogi for lunch. Kevin claims this was his favorite meal of the trip. That evening, as a pseudo rehearsal dinner, we ate more yummy Korean food at a restaurant near our hotel (lots of scallion pancakes!).
Having whet our appetite with Korean culture over the past few days, we eagerly awoke the next day, ready to experience the traditional wedding ceremony. There was the usual pre-wedding hubbub at the salon, where we got our hair and makeup done and the men dressed in their suits or, in Pat’s case, the traditional Korean wedding costume. Everyone looked fantastic, especially Young in her ceremonial red wonsam, or topcoat. The wedding took place at Korea House, a large, popular Seoul restaurant where many weddings take place. We arrived well before the guests and had a lot of time to take photos. Young and Pat understandably looked extremely nervous and excited.
We knew little of what the ceremony would entail before it began, but we did know that tradition called for Kevin to stand up for a portion of it and present a “wild goose” to the groom. Pat would then present the goose to Young as a gift that would symbolize his commitment to her. The tradition stemmed from previous centuries, where the groom would give his bride and her family a live goose. We tried to convince Pat how impressed his new family would be if he went to a Seoul market and did, in fact, find a live goose for her, but he didn’t take the bait.
As the guests started arriving, a member of Young’s family approached Kevin and asked if he was ready to put on his costume. Unaware that he would be wearing anything other than his suit, he turned to me with a wary look on his face before he was quickly escorted away. He returned a few minutes later in an incredibly bright turquoise wedding costume with a black hat. While we all laughed at his appearance at the time, it was such a special honor for him to be a part of the ceremony.
We couldn’t believe the amount of people who attended the wedding. Young’s cousin, whom I sat with during the ceremony, guessed there were around 450 people there. When I asked if this was common, she responded, “No, but everyone HAD to come and see Young marry the American.” The wedding was spectacular and an experience we will never forget. There was beautiful music, ribbon dancers, and the ceremony itself, ripe with centuries-old heritage. One interesting note – shortly after the ceremony began, one-third of the attendees abruptly got up and left. Halfway through, another group got up and left. Curious, I inquired where they were going. Young’s cousin explained that the reception after was a simple lunch and that the dining room couldn’t accommodate everyone at the same time, therefore, the guests ate in shifts. Those guests that were simply acquaintances and not as close to the bride and groom ate first, while close friends and family watched the entire ceremony and ate after. Once the official wedding was over, the family was escorted to a small and private pavilion on site, where we witnessed a special ceremony called the paebaek. The family members sit at a small table on the floor with the bride and groom. Tea is drunk, blessings are given and gifts are presented. Maureen and Ken also threw some chestnuts onto a cloth – the amount of chestnuts that landed on the cloth was meant to indicate the amount of children that Pat and Young would conceive. I think 4 landed. After the paebaek, we ate a delicious buffet lunch and Young was finally able to let down her hair a bit and breathe.
When I first found out we were heading to Seoul, I contacted a grade school friend, Amanda, who lived there teaching English. That evening, we were fortunate enough to meet up with her for some Korean barbecue and karaoke. We reminisced about St. Luke’s and caught up before heading to a karaoke place (with private rooms of course) in Hongdae, the university neighborhood. Karaoke in Korea and Japan is incredible and something I wish was more common in American culture.
The next day, we tried to take it easy after the events of the day before, but it was still our last day in Seoul, so Maureen, Ken, Kevin and I walked around to a nearby park and the Gangnam neighborhood. Maureen couldn’t help commenting on the smog and how it was affecting her breathing. As soon as she mentioned it, we all realized that there had indeed been some pressure on our chests the past few days. We found a comforting Irish pub (again, a common occurrence on our travels) and ate a quick lunch. The next day the four of us would be headed to Tokyo, so that evening we took it easy, grabbing some Chinese across from our hotel. It’s incredible, looking back, how lucky we were to be a part of such a special occasion. I look forward to taking Maeve back to South Korea some day to meet the family and eat all of the delicious food.
Recommendations:
- Ramada Seoul. 410 Bongeunsa-ro, Samseong 2(i)-dong, Gangnam-gu, Seoul, South Korea. https://www.ramadaseoul.co.kr/.
- Gyeongbokgung Palace. 161 Sajik-ro, Sejongno, Jongno-gu, Seoul, South Korea.
- Philkyungjae. 205 Gwangpyeong-ro, Suseo-dong, Gangnam-gu, Seoul, South Korea. http://www.philkyungjae.co.kr/.
- Korea House. 10 Toegye-ro 36-gil, Pil-dong, Jung-gu, 서울특별시 South Korea. https://www.chf.or.kr/kh.
